"Fifty Shades Of Gran", An Erotic Twitter Account For Those Over 80

She always kept a line of men waiting, frustrated and desperate. Why did she have to pay with the exact change every time she went to Tesco?
— Fifty Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) January 23, 2015

Her whole body tensed. She groaned and writhed for ages before finally sighing loudly. It was always the same when she got up off the sofa.
— Fifty Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) January 23, 2015

She slowly licked her lips, slowly undid the buttons of her blouse and slowly lay back on the bed. She did everything slowly, she was 86.
— Fifty Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) January 22, 2015

She moaned as the sudden spurt of hot white liquid soaked her quivering cleavage. It was the third time she'd spilt her Horlicks that week.
— Fifty Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) January 25, 2015

She laid her head back, opened her mouth wide and licked her lips in sweet anticipation. She loved nothing more than a good afternoon nap.
— Fifty Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) January 26, 2015